Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Laws Murphy Missed....
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it
Friday, January 4, 2008
CHARLES LEO BAUER
CHARLES LEO BAUER
He was preceded in death by a son Joseph L. Bauer.
Surviving are his wife of 62 years, Catherine Helen Merrill Bauer; two daughters, Mary Smith of Hiawassee, GA, and Loretta Johnston of St. Petersburg, FL; five sons, John G. Bauer of Venice, FL, Stephen T. Bauer of Kennesaw, GA, Paul C. Bauer of Sugarland, TX, Charles Leo Bauer, Jr. of St. Petersburg, FL, and Peter F. Bauer of Safety Harbor, FL; two brothers, Bernard Bauer of Hot Springs, AR, and Clarence Bauer of LaFayette IN; 33 grandchildren, and 12 great grandchildren.
A Funeral Mass will be at 12:00 noon Friday (Jan. 4, 2008) in the Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church with Father George Kloster officiating. Inurnment will be at a later date in the Bay Pines National Cemetery in St. Petersburg, FL.
The family will receive friends from 11:00-11:45 Friday (Jan. 4) at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church prior to the services.
Ivie Funeral Home, Hayesville in charge of all arrangements.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Computer Service Request Form
1. Describe your problem:
_________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
_________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
_________________________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__
6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__
9. Have you made it worse? Yes__
10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__
11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__
13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__
14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
_________________________________________
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem
occurred?
_________________________________________
17. If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.
_________________________________________
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
19. How does this problem make you feel? ________________________
20. Tell me about your childhood. ______________________________
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes__ No__
22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__
_________________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
_________________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
_________________________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor__
B. Minor__
C. Minor__
D. Trivial__
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up__
B. Frozen__
C. Hung__
D. Shot__
6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__
7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__
9. Have you made it worse? Yes__
10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__
11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__
12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__
13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__
14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?
_________________________________________
15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________
16. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem
occurred?
_________________________________________
17. If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.
_________________________________________
18. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__
19. How does this problem make you feel? ________________________
20. Tell me about your childhood. ______________________________
21. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem?
Yes__ No__
22. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__
Friday, September 14, 2007
Don't forget to run in the rain....
A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth that it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target store.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child, came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.
"Lets run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain,"
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'if God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!' "
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. You couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now, some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet,....well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. Never-the-less they got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. "To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven."
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
Take the time to live!!!
Keep in touch with your friends and family, you never know when you'll need each
other..
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child, came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in, "Mom let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.
"Lets run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain,"
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.
"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'if God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!' "
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. You couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now, some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.
"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet,....well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. Never-the-less they got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. "To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven."
I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.
Take the time to live!!!
Keep in touch with your friends and family, you never know when you'll need each
other..
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
The First Post...
I had always wanted to start a blog, and it appears that I have successfully created my first one.
Of course... the way things always go, I am left with no clue what to put down on my first blog. After looking at the news today, and seeing another interesting, and humorous article in regards to the illegal immigrants entering our country. It reminded me of a video I had seen not to long ago. I think I will share this video as my first post... Enjoy...
Of course... the way things always go, I am left with no clue what to put down on my first blog. After looking at the news today, and seeing another interesting, and humorous article in regards to the illegal immigrants entering our country. It reminded me of a video I had seen not to long ago. I think I will share this video as my first post... Enjoy...
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