Laws Murphy Missed....

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee


Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.


Law of Probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.


Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.


Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.


Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.


Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.


Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.


Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.


Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.


Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.


Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.


Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.


Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.


Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.


Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it

CHARLES LEO BAUER

CHARLES LEO BAUER

Charles Leo Bauer, 83, of Hayesville died Monday (December 24, 2007) in a Murphy medical center. He was a native of Peru, IN, but had lived in Tewksbury, MA and St. Petersburg, FL before moving to Clay County in 1992. He was the son of the late John Henry and Margaret Flaherty Bauer. He was a veteran of WWII serving in the United States Navy in the European Theatre. He retired after 36 years as a comptroller with the American Heart Association. Charles was a member of the VFW Hiawassee Post and the Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church.

He was preceded in death by a son Joseph L. Bauer.

Surviving are his wife of 62 years, Catherine Helen Merrill Bauer; two daughters, Mary Smith of Hiawassee, GA, and Loretta Johnston of St. Petersburg, FL; five sons, John G. Bauer of Venice, FL, Stephen T. Bauer of Kennesaw, GA, Paul C. Bauer of Sugarland, TX, Charles Leo Bauer, Jr. of St. Petersburg, FL, and Peter F. Bauer of Safety Harbor, FL; two brothers, Bernard Bauer of Hot Springs, AR, and Clarence Bauer of LaFayette IN; 33 grandchildren, and 12 great grandchildren.

A Funeral Mass will be at 12:00 noon Friday (Jan. 4, 2008) in the Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church with Father George Kloster officiating. Inurnment will be at a later date in the Bay Pines National Cemetery in St. Petersburg, FL.

The family will receive friends from 11:00-11:45 Friday (Jan. 4) at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church prior to the services.

Ivie Funeral Home, Hayesville in charge of all arrangements.